Today at work – I was clearly not very busy- I had an e-mail conversation with a colleague.
We were talking about nice guys. Nice guys never get the girl. Cliche but true.
Why is that? Why is it that we girls, fantasise about the perfect man, complete with heritage, Wall-paper house, yacht and six-pack but never with that perfectly nice character.
The one who helps old ladies cross the road, who phones his mother every sunday after he has been to church and who aspires to work part-time so he can be a more hands-on dad to his four beautiful kids who he adores, who buys you flowers and presents as a surprise and who knows exactly what to say to comfort you, who adores you and who will follow you to the end of the earth.
Personally I think this is because we girls aren’t that different from boys.
Times have changed, gender stereo-types are broken and both sexes are more and more on equal footing. The nice guy almost seems old-fashioned, you can imagine him with slippers and dad-jumpers. ( Yes, chivalry is appreciated, opening doors etc and even the walk-home to make sure you are safe; but once at the door you don’t want him to peck you on the cheek and walk off into the night feeling all righteous! Admit it even though we might not want to have sex on the first night, we’d like to think that you might- as we know you do.)
The bad guys, the ones with a naughty streak I mean- not the ones who are involved in emotional or physical abuse in any way shape or form – provide a challenge, the proof that you have to fight for a relationship and that he is with you because he chooses to, not because he cannot think of anyone else. They provide a challenge not just through arguments but by the way they live. They are still one step ahead in this whole emancipation process which only now starts to accept the female wild childs. ( Along the lines of: Man with lots of sex = cool, woman with lots of sex = whore.) They are what we are not – so therefor attractive or they are the fully-fledged version of what we aspire to be- so therefor attractive.
Bypassing the nice guy and opting for the more challenging version is just a logical step of evolving times.