Pie with a Heart in the Middle

Baby don’t be blue

Gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Gonna be a pie from the heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby Don’t You Cry from Waitress – 2007

Today I took a day off and just as well as I was having a Fat-Day. ( The kind that could only be aided along with two chocolate eclairs, a family bag of Twiglets and Ben and Jerry’s Phish food. ) It was one of those horrible days that just don’t really want to work. Yet as my flatmate had an even worse day, I thought I should probably pull myself together at some point and make dinner. I popped a DVD in the player for some company and got completely hooked.
The film Waitress has the wonderful Keri Russell in it. (She of Felicity fame, though I was more a Dawson girl myself. Who could have thunk what would happen to pretty Katie Holmes aka Joey Potter! But I’m digressing…)
The story tells about a waitress with a pie making gift in the South of the States. She is trapped in an unhappy marriage when she finds out she’s pregnant and the subsequential events are funny, moving and perhaps despite the setting edging towards un-American. A little like Little Miss Sunshine, but with even less of an obvious effort to be quirky.
The lady to credit is Adrienne Shelly; who wrote and directed this movie as well as acted in it as the shy, insecure but lovable colleague waitress Dawn. In her I have found a true new hero. Adrienne was clearly multi-talented (she also wrote the main song that is quoted above) She is an inspiration; clever writing, fringe yet open to mainstream, songwriting, funny, directing gorgeous visuals and it centres around sweet food -perfect! Sadly, Adrienne was killed in 2006 before her film came out. Her husband founded the Adrienne Shelly Foundation in her honour: http://www.adrienneshellyfoundation.org/
If you haven’t seen Waitress, go and rent it this weekend. You’ll love it.

Life’s Basics

Tonight after I went to the Open Arts Cafe and saw new work by new artists, I had a discussion on the platform of the Marble Arch Tube Station about life’s necessities.

When I changed onto the Jubilee line, I sat in my seat trying to think whilst dodging the heavy petting of the couple on my right. Stripped to the bare bones, what do I need to enjoy life?

I came up with the following non-hierarchical list:
Food/Drink
Hygiene
Sleep
Sex
A Sense of Humour

Walking to the flat and passing several couples hand in hand,( one in an alleyway; how old are we people?! ) I realised that though you are able to live without any of the above on a (very) short-term period, the basic need(s) that you are deprived off suddenly become more pressing…

So after I drank a glass of water, ate a banana, brushed my teeth and washed my face to get ready for bed I thought:

Well, at least today I laughed.

Love Friendship and Death

Walking down the stairs, carrying my bag, determined that I would no longer bear another insult; I heard the clicking of my heels on concrete and was surprised at the silence around. Yet the silence in the eye of the storm is deafening.

After weeks of stress and deliberation, came the straw that broke the camel’s back… So as I walked out of the building, I walked out on a relationship with a man who I once simply adored.

Today, exactly six months later, I am typing this from my livingroom in Canary Wharf where I have moved in with a friend. The flat is gorgeous and the balcony overlooks the Thames which reflects the lights of the offices.

I have landed on my feet and very grateful to have done so. This is mostly ( if not solely for the first few weeks) through the infallible net of friends who have drawn around me. If anything teaches you to stay in touch with people, despite life itself, it is the time that your life crumbles.

I write because this is what I do best. ( Amongst other things 😉 you should see me… knit *blink*) Straight after that day in April, I started writing a one woman show. It had 3 chord guitar songs, funny anecdotes: the lot. I performed it at a theater festival ( a competition) back home and the audience loved it. Great reception, great reviews, I was sure they were going to ask me back to the next round! I prepped, wished, believed, prayed: this was a sign, there was a reason to have left the man I adored! That phonecall on Sunday was going to change my life!

That phonecall never came. Obviously. ( Would I be writing this if it did?)

There were tears, there was cursing, my poor mother had to hear a rant about why God didn’t want me to do something with my life (no. really.) then there was silent acceptance. Then there was my friend Sura who simply said: ‘You just try again. Until you give up or until you die – you just start again. It is that simple.’

When I met her the day after with a soul-hangover, she suggested that I should write again. Everyday a little bit. This blog has been dormant for a while, but I agree that I should probably write. Everyday a little bit.

Today the phone did ring and one of my close friends from home told me his father has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He has been given only a few more months; I think God can prioritise his complaint letter over mine…

Today that call hit it home: Until you give up or until you die – you simply start again.