As you might have gathered, I am pretty much an extrovert. If something happens to me, the world may know it. This is great if the world is actually interested, but to be perfectly honest: it really doesn’t matter as it will get to hear it anyway. I will yak about it til the sun goes down all the way through the night until the sun comes up again.
Funnily enough, my flat mate (and friend) is an introvert, as is my sister. Both I love dearly, despite or because they are so different. It does make some situations interesting though, because as a talker I just don’t know how to deal with people not talking. I do try to listen, it is just that silence is sometimes hard to understand. So I try to read the silent signs, only to mess it up when try I to say something, thus obviously disturbing some inner process that is trying to deal with a difficult situation and we are back to square one. Me still no clue how to help and the other even quieter for fear of giving something away as she just don’t want to share her thoughts/ feelings or a false idea of burdening me.
Should I just let them be and see what happens? Maybe, but then sometimes snippets of a conversation or a line of thought that has clearly been going through their head actually makes it to the outside world. Often it is a thought of worry or wonder, a word or sentence that explains the silence. ( or sometimes it confuses me and I will have to ask to speak out loud the words that preceded that sentence in their head.) Especially when the silence screams at me, I wish I had the ability to look in to their thoughts, take away the fears and work out solutions for any worries.
But I feel like I am looking at them through a filtered glass, which takes away all the impurities so the outside world sees nothing less than perfection.
I know that perhaps I should leave them to it and let them deal with it in their own way.Who am I to get involved in their life anyway? Selfishly the thing is: they are such an important part of mine. Seeing them, knowing them and loving them as I do, means that what affects them, affects me. Plus I have the theory that extrovert or introvert, we all have similar worries and though we have different ways of dealing with things; to carry alone a burden requires super-human strenght. It is not that I don’t think they are not able, but I do think they shouldn’t have to.
So for that reason I am annoyingly sticking around; utterly useless a sidekick as Donkey in Shrek, failing miserably to suck up my extrovert nature and sticking my foot in my mouth with every step we take, but all the while hoping that at least they know (can they ignore the yakking?) that even when the sun goes down, they are not walking alone.