A few days ago I found a message on the Book of Face from a friend to a guy who I used to go out with, and to my surprise she congratulated him on his engagement. I was happy for him – it has been ages ( if you read this: All the best to you both!) but when I saw he was still going out with the Japanese girl he has been with for years, being oriental as they say myself, I wondered about the issue of type.
My very first boyfriend I went out with at the tender age of 15, had had a girlfriend before: a Filipino girl. The girl he dated after me was Chinese… Coincidence? I think not. My ex didn’t have the Oriental thing but when he admitted to liking Amanda Seyfried last week (haha, that is the last time you tell me something ;)) it didn’t surprise me at all. Being aware of his X-files, his type seems to be pretty girl next-door instead of drop-dead gorgeous scary vamp.
So do people fall for certain types? People are happy to say they prefer blondes over brunettes or claim they are breast or leg-men. It becomes a little different when people start to admit they are not attracted to black guys. That is seen as racist. The other way around doesn’t get any better either, I once got the immortal opening-line: “Hi I’m Matt, I like Oriental women.” Bye Matt and no you really cannot buy me a drink- thank you.
My friend Laura has a certain type which is just a little different from what is generally deemed as attractive. This person is hard to describe: muscular thighs seem a must though, skinny jeans not allowed.Whenever she speaks about a really fit man, we need to define fit: Really Fit or Laura Fit. There is a difference and it saves confusion when we meet the man himself.
Sometimes type is defined by culture as another friend admitted recently that dating a Jewish guy would be preferable because she would automatically share the same background. I understand how type can then provide an instant click, a foundation to start from.
Personally I don’t fall for Oriental guys: maybe because growing up in a small Dutch town, I didn’t realise I wasn’t white until I was 10. Having grown-up amongst tall Dutch guys ( I cannot remember we had any Oriental guys in our school) I think my preference was developed there. I would like to think my type is the handsome Alpha-male with the knack for household chores as well as DIY, but in practice this proves wishful thinking. My type has proven to be the sensitive, pretty boys. I think I described it in another entry with the three C’s: Charming, Clever and slightly Camp. Throw in a limp and an eye-patch for character and depth, (also known as the broken wing sydrome: something leg/arm/mind/heart is broken and I feel an urge to fix it.) and it is near fatal attraction. Yes reading this myself, I agree I might have to raise my standards!
Yesterday I found myself texting this guy, then realised he had scary resemblances to my darling ex; gorgeous, kind, flirty and also completely self-absorbed and work-obsessed. Thus with a little regret I had to stop myself as I remembered an Ol’ Dutch proverb which says something about even donkeys not hurting themselves on the same stone twice. No matter how desperate the donkey is to move forward and no matter enticing the stone once again might be, just say no!