Office Oddities

Where do all the teaspoons go? Or the glasses for that matter?

Toilet etiquette: Do we say hello? Do we just nod?  Can we talk shop? Conversation whilst in different cubicles – is that acceptable? Do we hold bins open for each other?

Phone conversations in the hallway doesn’t automatically mean you are having a private conversation, especially not if you decide to shout down the phone.

Why are the awkward silences in the kitchen, mug in hand, queuing for the hot water or looking for the only teaspoon, filled with:

” Pfff it’s Monday again.” / ” Is it only Tuesday?” /” Wednesday, half-way through the week!”/ ” You know Thursdays are the new Fridays.” / ” Thank God it’s Friday!”

I understand lunch hour for practicality sake, but do we really get hungry at the same time? Should anyone be allowed to tell you when to eat and when not to eat? Isn’t that a human right or something?

Human rights, common decency: why can’t anyone just clear up the piece of paper/ pen or bag that has fallen on to the floor? Though no one seems to like their job (see  two lines above) we become sticklers to our job description when it comes to any common sense exercise.

Senior, junior, deputy etc a mix of people, despite the age / rank/ experience /gender differences, we are still all adults- right?

What does one answer when asked what they are doing this evening/ or the weekend?  Do we really want to know whether our colleagues are cross-dressing, clubbing seals or organising an evening of crochet for the neighbourhood ? Plus why do we have to defend ourselves when we have nothing planned: ” Oh just a quiet one…which is really nice and what I needed really… I’ve been so busy lately.”

Talking about being busy: why, come 5pm, we all start to sigh that we have to go to the gym tonight? Surely no one has to go to the gym, usually you pay money for a membership and thus choose to go to the gym. It is not an obligation and announcing that you are going to the gym in said sacrificing manner doesn’t make you a 21st Century martyr or hero. Go and enjoy it or don’t go and embrace it. Not that hard.

Everyone seems to read the “Cake In Kitchen” group e-mail but not the  “Update your timesheet” group e-mail.

How much do you donate to collection? Can you pass if you don’t want to/ cannot contribute? Who puts in those token coppers? Where do they come from?

Drink after work… can we still take someone seriously when they have been sick in their handbag and then fallen face first on the pavement- despite them being really good at their job? Or is it a bonding experience, does that give them character and can we see them as a human being rather than a colleague?

Lunch time drink  falls into same category really. A glass or a bottle, who pays or do you split? What about groups and unevenly priced dishes? Who’s in whose team, where do you draw the line when having  a team-lunch?

What does somebody’s taste in music tell about them? There is a reason why I don’t play mine!

I wonder if anyone ever wakes up as a child thinking: one day when I grow up I’m going to be an account manager.

Facebook friends – also a cross-over between social and work life. You can’t really ignore a friend request… but it comes with the added complication:

how often can you acceptably update… or write a blog!?

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