Shell suits

The Breakfast Club in Hoxton had a queue that reached the street. How could this many people be wrong? So whilst we were waiting I decided to do some people spotting. What is nice about East London is that their fashion has created a whole new sub culture. ( Some would deny ‘sub-culture’ they insist it is life; should you however venture beyond the E1 postcode, life definitely looks different to me.)

I guess ironically sometimes a group of girls in their effort to look different end up looking quite the same; mainly Topshopified. Flowery tea-dress or tutu-like skirt anyone? Add quirky hair band to finish. ( Not scarfs – scarfs are good.)  Some men try to pass of their lack of dress-sense as cool and failing. ( Just because it looks good on your neighbour doesn’t mean it looks good on you: body-types are different gentlemen. Women know it apple, pears, petite and square, we dress to it – so should you! Oh and though I can appreciate a three-day shade, a full-grown unkept beard on a 24 year-old is just lazy and weird- not a statement of cool.)

I did like watching the parade of fashion on Sunday though and was impressed by some bold statements. Half-shaved heads on women, pastel-coloured shades on men; I enjoyed the simplicity of some styles. The secret seems to lie in looking effortless and strangely natural. It should literally be picture-perfect.

As we were discussing the subculture/life on the street, my fellow breakfast-goer casually mentioned:

You know it is time for the shell-suit.

I nearly fainted on the spot.

The Shell-suit.  Every late eighties/early nineties kid remembers them. Nylon in all colours of the rainbow, though mostly pastel pink ( Why do I remember pastel-green or mint?) it was deemed the appropriate dress-code for well… any social occasion. Even your parents were probably caught during some neighbourhood summer party in shell-suit. Thank god they haven’t joined Facebook. (De-Tag!) It was a phase. It passed. Some if not most would say for a reason…

But now, with the Eighties revival nearly over ( time to get over the Big Shoulders and the Top Gun Jackets…) and high-tops already very clearly on the fashion radar – it’s a little bit like computers, if they make it into magazines it is almost over – the question lingers: Will shell suits be back?

Even though my fellow breakfast goer tried to convince me how the new shell suit, the shell suit v2010, would work well if you would only use the jacket on say rolled up  black trousers etc etc.  I had to block the idea out of my mind: it’s fancy-dress material! I mean imagine Cheryl C (or should it be T?) rocking up in a shell suit…*blink*

Jimmy Saville yes! (and even then a reluctant yes.) but  Bradley Cooper – no!, (then again Bradley Cooper in any clothes- no! Roll on The A-Team!)

The Shell suit so much is wrong with it, not to mention health and safety hazards with those highly inflammables, I can only ask you to boycott them. Please remember like double denim: just because it works on the billboard doesn’t make it right.

Lord Almighty, the shell suit. I hope it bombs.

3 thoughts on “Shell suits

  1. Dude! I would SO wear a shell suit! I would look totally awesome! I hope they come in purple and green 😀 (And just to clarify, no, sadly I am not joking!) x

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