On my way back from my sister’s I spotted a man on the Tube who seemed a little uneasy; as if he had the feeling people were looking at him, and obviously I was, until I noticed his left hand:
In a flash I got propelled back in time to about a decade ago: in a classroom where a white-haired chemistry teacher was staring out of the window. There had been recent changes in the school system and it was known that the ‘old school’ crowd was less than happy with it. Under the new rules the secondary school student should get used to working on its own, to prepare them for university, so should be allowed more independence to work in their own time A teacher should only be there to teach say two out of four classes and during the other two he should supervise and help when needed.
This particular teacher interpreted supervision as “being in the room” and made a point of staring out of the window out of principle. Sometimes he would be in the mood to muck about with the rest of the class – let’s face it when a class of 15 year olds is left to their own devices, chemistry is not necessarily a priority. This day though he seemed quiet and oblivious to the noise around him. Suddenly a bright but annoyingly loud girl shouted from the back: “Sir! Why do you wear two wedding rings on the same finger?” It went quiet, a friend wacked the girl over the head with a chemistry book and our teacher looked up but pretended he hadn’t heard.
Double wedding ring: the tradition to wear the ring after a death of the spouse. There are no rules as to whether to wear it or when to remove the wedding bands all together. It is all about a state of mind or perhaps better – a state of heart.
The death of a lover ironically complicates the end of a relationship. When is it ok to let go of what you once had? Yes, the man on the tube, the memory of the bands, it put my recent thinking in to perspective.
Suddenly all the voices that had been placing subconscious fear and irrational reasoning in my head were shouting the same thing: Oi lady, stop overcomplicating and move on already!