To my darling friend,
Hopefully you have recovered by the time you read this. I have been thinking all morning about your predicament and I so understand: been there, done that and I think this blog is a testament to the experience. (Getting T-shirts is soooo 90s darlin’).
So the theme of this letter to you is: “We’re All Losers” . It is my personal twist on Einstein’s observation that
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
I take the other angle because I think if we go through life believing we are genii (is that right, my Latin fails me…) and are yet to find the subject we excel in, life can be mightily frustrating. So let’s accept that we are all losers and free ourselves from the pressure. If we accept we are losers, we suddenly have nothing left to lose: nothing that can stop us, no one to judge us (because who cares) and we are free to explore what makes us happy. We are suddenly in charge of our own lives and happiness.
We will only stay losers if we use the world’s standard for success. Funnily enough, more often than not his “society standard” is the opposite of what we have achieved. We make ourselves losers. We feel bad about not owning a house, not having a perfect career, a family or never having seen the world. Yet, rumour has it, that even those who tick all the boxes have worries about their work, relationships and bills.
No one will ever measure up to the society standard of success because it doesn’t really exist: there are billions of people on this globe. How can they all conform to one measure? Create your own rules, create your own standard and stay true to you. In the years to come, and hopefully there will be many, you will create your own unique life. Something that only you will have experienced and can choose to (not) tell your grandchildren about.
Come and join us my friend… Don’t hide away, trying to figure it all out by yourself. Connect to others for their insights because you don’t have all the answers. Nor has the internet. If you wait for all the answers or for life to begin, it will pass you by. This is it, unfortunately. It is a bit like a theme-park but uglier, grimmer but who wants to sit in a carousel all their lives? Pretty, with all the lights but truth is that you are only going round in the same circle.
This is it my dear, welcome! You are part of it. Find your way through the maze, find fellow losers with nothing left to lose and enjoy the ride in all its craziness and splendour.