Musical chairs

Over the weekend, someone shared a metaphor with me:

“Turning 30 is a bit like musical chairs… At 29, the music is playing and everyone is dancing; at 30, the music stops and everyone sits down. Not even on the most comfortable or prettiest chair but on the most convenient one – everyone sits down and holds on for dear life. And there is always one person left, standing in the middle of the room, looking at all the others clinging to their chairs, thinking: “WTF just happened?””

Don't settle! (Pic by Daveynin Flickr)
Don’t settle! (Pic by Daveynin Flickr)

2014 has just started but in my circle of lovely friends, two babies are (to be) born this year and the e-invite for the now near annual hennight has just come through, in preparation for a near annual wedding later this year. Less cynical than the metaphor though, I do like to think that my friends have made their moves as conscious choices; smoothly moonwalking to that 2-person Chesterfield sofa as the music enters the final chorus…

Not even on the most comfortable or prettiest chair but on the most convenient one; at 30, everyone sits down and holds on for dear life.

Yes, as we enter month two of year 30, it’s possible that the one person still dancing in the room might well be me. I’m not sure what happened to my track but I seem to be playing the Baz Luhrmann extended version. Still bopping away, while my friends happily wave their baby’s hand to me (hand still attached to the child, of course!) from their comfy seats. Those moments are still unreal to me, the idea of a third person where there first were two.

At times I get tired of dancing and I envy my friends happily stretched out on the faux-leather sofa but you can’t stop until the music stops – those are the rules! As for settling for the wonky old kitchen stool for one: never. Though tempting at times, even I can see in my weariness that it will only be a temporary comfort until it breaks.

Dancing among the toddlers is not really how I imagined my life to be but then again, I never saw much further than 21 and that was overrated. So as I am slowly being pushed one generation along, I like to think I am embodying the spirit of this crazily American but still kind of cute video for all the new additions on their first days here: “There’s plenty of reasons to dance, you just got to look for ‘m.”

If I can dream

A rehearsal take – not the best polished performance but I like the slightly tired, slightly slack emotion that it adds.

Out there in the dark there’s a beckoning candle and while I can think, while I can talk, while I can stand, while I can walk, while I can dream…

It’s a New Day

Goodmorning happy campers,

Today is the 1st of June, which means we are almost half way through the year 2010. In a crazy coffee filled eureka moment I seem to have found my theme for this blog. Really unsurprising and really simple:

I am going to make theatre.  Simples. ( print and apply to life.)

This will be an account of the how, what and where – o yes and obviously the other things in life like annoying people on the tube and other random stuff,  I will still write about those too.  Because here is the amazing thing, I realised that the only massive life  changing decision that I have to make is: to do it.  Stop yakking about wanting to do it, just do it.

This is not me packing it all in and moving to Hollywood – why on earth would I want to do that if I want to perform in a theatre?  This is me optimising the opportunities I have, let’s look at the evidence:

 I live in London, pretty much the Mecca of any kind of theatre., inspiration a plenty.

 I have made a show before, so I can do it again… I don’t have to move from a job as plumber into the theatre world which would give you  another starting point. I went in before and yes I might have left again, but it doesn’t mean that door is closed. Or if it seems closed, maybe it is time to try the handle to see whether it is locked. Probably not.

I have a job. As much as I am sometimes frustrated by it I have got a job that pays the bills. Lucky me: I don’t have to worry about that! If there is not a lot of challenge within the job, you have the time and freedom to find that  elsewhere. If I can pay the bills and keep my independence, it takes the pressure off following my dream. My dream means my responsibility not anyone else’s.  Real life doesn’t have to suck, you just need to make it work for you.

I have a platform to talk about it, vent about it, shout about it, cry about it. Hopefully it will help me through the moments when the caffiene wears off and encourage me to keep at it. If I keep an account, perhaps it shows me how all the little baby-steps really do add up.

Good so here we are. Time to step away from the coffee and enjoy the day.