All change, all change

About eight months ago, I was given a bracelet: a ribbon, upon which I made three wishes as three knots tied it to my wrist.  The idea being that the ribbon will break when the three wishes have come true.

Of course, the ribbon is mostly symbolic, reminding  you of your wishes and thus steering you subconsciously.  Yet as my bracelet is showing some wear and tear, I actually start to worry a little: What if it breaks before (I will have made) my wishes come true?

Has the magic gone?

I have noticed a change in my life recently, on one level there is a new calmness as the two years on The Square have allowed me to rest and pursue my writing. On another level, the raw drive is fading. The drive gave me high highs and low lows and though it would drive me crazy at times, I am a little scared of losing it:  I am not yet where I want to be and I have relied on that drive to keep me going.

My priorities seem to shift and after years of searching, pushing, fighting, a new chapter is beginning – it all happens so naturally, that I know I cannot fight it. It is a different, less volatile energy but as I am writing this, I realise it is still a power source.

Perhaps I shouldn’t fear, perhaps the magic is not gone and has only transformed.

Magic of a cuppa

Some days it doesn’t look good out there… Student protests, dead miners, bail-outs and potential snowstorms.

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Some days you realise that all the weight that you ran off in 3 months has slipped back on in two.

Some days you find out that nothing is as simple as it seems and that next time you think of a good idea…

Some days you wonder how you ever will be able to write all that is now  in your head down in a word document.

Some days you try to convince the world that you are the perfect Christmas sales associate. (And I am! You should see me wrap!)

Some days you look at the empty moving boxes and wonder whether you should just go home and forget about it all.

Some days you understand the look that the bank manager gives you when you tell her you are indeed a freelancer.

Some days you just have to embrace the magic of a blanket and a cup a tea.

Some days you cannot be more proud of yourself for keeping everything in perspective and keeping sane.